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The Cell writer Mark Protosevich has been hired to update 1972's boat disaster movie The Poseidon Adventure. Further cementing the painfully-obvious observation that Hollywood is completely out of ideas, Wolfgang Petersen is producing it (and we assume will wind up in the director's chair). Petersen, if you recall, is the director of The Perfect Storm, a boat movie, and Das Boot (German for "boat movie"). We'd further mine his IMDb profile for other nautical fare, but our German-translation intern is out scoring us some coke.