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You know what they say about retarded celebrity baby names: They always come in threes. Geena Davis did her part after Gwyneth's star turn by squeezing out twin boys, then saddling them with the names Kian and Kaiis. On any other day, we might have harped on the matching K names, the superflous "i" jammed into the latter rugrat's name, and speculated that she's consigned the kids to at best a Doublemint commercial and at worst a career at Chippendale's. But we'll leave Davis alone. She clearly choked under the massive pressure to come up with something truly asinine after Paltrow's breathtaking achievement in produce-department nomenclature.