Congratulations are in order: Kristin Cavallari, official spokesperson of the fake bangs company Secret Bangs™, has made a sale...to Defamer.com. Today we purchased one pair of Secret Bangs™ in the secret shade of “Dark Blonde” for $29.99. Here’s hoping they look just like this:

Or like this:

Or like this:

Before we finalized our order, we were presented with the exciting opportunity to pay 19 more dollars for one Secret Color™ hair extension by Demi Lovato. By default, these extensions look more tasteful and subdued than Secret Bangs™, but we declined.

SecretBangs.com did not provide us with a shipping estimate, so we’ll let you know if they ever show up.

This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photos via Secret Bangs™ and Getty]