Before Kristin Cavallari embarked on the ambitious journey of drafting her debut memoir Balancing on Heels—coming to an Amazon.com near you in 436 days—she was busy popularizing catchphrases like "butt-hurt" and "Stee-pheeennnnn" on MTV's Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County.

That's right: Kristin's first job was not selling shoes or jewelry, but selling the dream of a no-curfew high school experience by the beach to America's less fortunate teens. You remember that Kristin, of course: bored smile, black choker.

There she is. Trying to fit a square into a circle was her life!

Iiiiii defyyyyyyy you to find a better quality version of the opening credits online, because I could not.

This has been 500 Days of Kristin.

[Photo via Getty]