Who is the white rapper with a blonde model girlfriend who needed to cum so bad that he shoved his dick into a watermelon?

Last year, Gawker published a sweet summertime tale titled “Watermelon Story by Sam Biddle.” Here is the 18-and-over version of that little yarn, via Blind Gossip. We will call this passage “Watermelon Story XXX”:

We hear a lot of crazy stories about music artists, but this juicy story comes straight from the artist himself!

This bad boy rapper is currently dating a blonde model who has been linked to multiple famous men, including athletes and movie stars and rappers. However, even someone as experienced as she is may find it difficult to satisfy his sexual needs.

He parties a lot and frequently has to deal with hangovers. His remedy? “When I c*m, it kind of relieves everything. If I f*ck, take a shower, throw up, sh*t, and then take a shower again, I’m back to square one.”

He admitted that once, when there were no girl around to help him with his hangover, he still needed something to f*ck.

So, he f*cked a watermelon.

BONUS CLUE! The rapper is white.

Who “f*cked a watermelon”?

Here is a photo of white rapper Machine Gun Kelly and, ummm, “blonde model” Amber Rose.

Please enjoy your consumption of watermelon during these warm, lazy days.

Contact the author at jordan@gawker.com.