OT-VII Tom Cruise is small and lean. But what if Tom Cruise were small and so thick that it's crazy? Tom Cruise reportedly intends to answer that question in preparation for an upcoming role.

Page Six reports Cruise will potentially gain...so much weight, oh my god, haha, what, can you imagine if he gained this much weight (I'm laughing because I'm nervous), for the role of a gun- and drug-trafficking pilot:

Cruise has been cast in "Mena," the story of a porky pilot who trafficked drugs and guns for the Medellin cartel and CIA in the 1980s.

But the real guy was nearly 300 pounds, and we hear that chiseled Cruise will gain significant weight for the role.

Having freed himself from his reactive mind, Tom Cruise has likely moved up The Bridge to Total Freedom to the part of The Bridge where you have complete control of your physical being and can (fingers crossed) double your body weight in the span of just a few months.

Thank the Supreme Being.

I love you, Tom Cruise. Please weigh 300 pounds.

[image via Getty]