What makes a hero? A blue background, perhaps. The action of holding a slate. A barbed wire tattoo on the left arm. Hair on face. Shirt. Smile. Ah, I don’t know—but get a load of this.

Blake Shelton found himself in Oklahoma last weekend. What brought him to Oklahoma is not for us to say—it’s not his hometown, if that’s maybe what you guessed—but what happened there is for us to say.

—For us to say thank you.

According to E!, four men were by a river somewhere when something happened. E! spoke to one of the men named Bryar Blanton, and I’ll let him take it away:

“We were at the river looking and slid off into a mud hole for about two hours. Then me and my buddy Adrian started walking and Blake Shelton stopped and asked if we needed some help.”

What is this new life? A mud hole. One minute you’re at the river looking, the next you’re in a mud hole. What is time in a mud hole—two hours, two days. Time bends and stretches and sinks into the mud.

At that point, Blake Shelton got his tractor and got them out of the mud hole. Let’s hear the story again:

“We were at the river looking and slid off into a mud hole for about two hours. Then me and my buddy Adrian started walking and Blake Shelton stopped and asked if we needed some help.”

And one more time:

“We were at the river looking and slid off into a mud hole for about two hours.”

Mud hole, mud hole.


Contact the author at kelly.conaboy@gawker.com.