Generation Y is the reason Jack Nicholson can't have nice things. The Dads creators defend racism because upsetting entire ethnic groups is super LOLs y'all! And Spike Lee keeps raking in grants even though he has begged us all for millions.

September is upon us, and that can only mean one thing: You can stop pretending you know what people mean when they say "If Chip Kelly's offense stays healthy, Shady is going to be explosive this season!" and go back to talking about God's work—network television. To help you avoid embarrassing yourself at the office Keurig predicting the season's first cancellation—you need a better answer than Dads, it's not June anymore, c'mon—here are some of the best and juiciest rumors we've been hearing: