Which overhyped show should you watch? In Showdowns, Defamer's Beejoli Shah and Gawker's Rich Juzwiak tackle the tough issues: Which show each night this week sucks the least during the premiere season of this "Golden Age of Television."

Mark Wahlberg could have been your classmate if you were a graduating senior this year; Jimmy Kimmel is a C.R.E.A.M. loyalist—except that for Kimbo, Costco Rules Everything Around Him; and Julie Chen, despite her best efforts to be a white girl, still just looks Chinese.