The 2014 Academy Awards are upon us, and instead of going to a sophisticated viewing party with champagne and caviar, we've chosen to spend the awards with you, our readers. Who will walk away victorious, who will return to their fabulous mansions empty-handed, and who will fall over onstage?

Legendary actress Jacqueline Bisset just picked up the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Performance in a Series, Miniseries, or Television Film for her work in the BBC/Starz series Dancing on the Edge. It took Bisset almost a minute to get to the stage after her name was announced, and then, once there, she spent several more seconds attempting to form words. Lip-smacking, a censorship fail (she slipped a "shit" through), and a message to the haters ("Go to hell and don't come back") ensued. They attempted to play her off, and she just refused to listen to the music and went right on babbling. What a woman.

Last year, Jodie Foster came out, a weird lady flirted with Bradley Cooper, and the teleprompter broke, confusing Salma Hayak more than usual. Who knows what will happen during the Golden Globes this year?