Nasty Baby, the latest movie from Brooklyn-based Chilean director Sebastián Silva (The Maid, Crystal Fairy), is one of the low-key weirdest things I’ve seen all year. In a Fassbinder-esque turn, Silva plays an artist character named Freddy who’s attempting to have a baby with his boyfriend Mo (Tunde Adebimpe) and their friend Polly (Kristen Wiig). Shot at Silva’s own Fort Greene apartment, Nasty Baby (named after an art piece Freddy is working on) feels like a little slice of modern privileged life until a turf war breaks out between Freddy and an older, mentally unstable black man on the block named the Bishop (Reg E. Cathey). Tension escalates and explodes in a final-act shocker that some will find to be a jarring tone shift.

On Sunday, I woke up promptly at 1:27 p.m. and decided to go to brunch in my neighborhood (Williamsburg, Brooklyn). Can you guess who was there? The actor Robert Pattinson.

What follows is not actually by Hilary Duff, except in the sense that I am pouring my heart out and what is appearing on the page is the savage essence of Hilary Duff.

There are pros to being a Brooklyn resident in the Girls era. For instance, people from outside of New York think you live in the "center of it all" as opposed to a money-sucking Etsy diorama. But there are also cons, like when Girls films on an entire city block and screws up your day.

Let's see if this makes it into the third season of Girls: according to a tipster, Lena Dunham was at the Brooklyn Heights cafe Siggy's Good Food on Sunday, where she fed her dog Lamby, pictured above, a plate of restaurant-prepared salmon and salad. The salad, per our tipster, was dressed.

Some guy who likes Girls needed to sell a couch in Brooklyn on Tuesday. So he posted a picture of his couch on Craigslist, comparing the giant piece of furniture to the perpetually nude Lena Dunham. Because if you're going to buy a used couch on Craigslist from some guy in Gowanus, it's best that it resemble a famous person you've never met.