As a result of shared physical and emotional attraction, Calvin Harris, Scottish DJ, (not pictured), and Taylor Swift have been involved in a romantic relationship since early summer. Harris’s recent, relaxing trip to a Thai massage parlor may have changed that, however.

EDM Ken-doll and Taylor Swift consort Calvin Harris was seen leaving a Thai massage parlor on Sunset Boulevard earlier this week, after spending two hours inside. Radar reported the spot Harris visited received raves on Yelp as the best “happy ending” spot in town, conjuring visions of a normal human man casting about for relief from his obligations to an exquisite celebrity android. But when it comes to professional handjobs, there are more reliable sources than Yelp, and, apparently, more reliable massage parlors than In Thai Spa.

It’s always nice when couples have common interests, like skiing or manga or believing in fairytales. For example: In 2008, Taylor Swift sang, “I had so many dreams/About you and me/Happy endings/Now I know,” in the ballad “White Horse.” Then, on Thursday, her official boyfriend Calvin Harris visited a Thai massage parlor that—according to Yelp—provides the “best happy endings” in Hollywood.

ATTN Taylor Swift and anyone who can keep a secret (this is private): Someone is trying to sell an “intimate photo” of Taylor Swift with the Scottish DJ Calvin Harris. Calvin Harris is, as Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris will loudly tell you, Taylor Swift’s boyfriend for real. It’s true! Radar reports:

Taylor Swift relayed a special message to her boyfriend Calvin Harris, allegedly, last night during her performance at Los Angeles’s Staples Center. The message was “olive juice.”

Calvin Harris, a simple Scottish DJ, is dating Taylor Swift as the result of mutual human attraction. He gushed about the excitement of media interest in their relationship like any boyfriend would in a recent interview with KISS FM (via the Daily Mail).

Here is a photo of Taylor Swift and her new “beau,” the DJ Calvin Harris, enjoying a pool day and doing fun-but-ultimately-restricted poses for the camera. Do these two people like having sex (together), or do they LOVE having sex (together)? If you said yes to either, I’m sure this “hot couple” appreciates your faith.

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