Coming soon to whatever channel onto which other countries dump their own version of "urban" programming: America's Next Top Model. The UPN hit has been sold to 40 countries, as well as licensed for original, local versions. According to THR, the Russian version is already looking strong. But who's the Russian Tyra Banks? They'd probably be better off getting pop-star/fake lesbian act TaTu to judge. You know the Russians wouldn't cut the inevitable orgy scene.

Finally, we have some writers' strike talk with a little balls to it. Variety says that writers are "play[ing] it tough," the Guild "growls" and has "bared its teeth" for the studios.

Salon interviews reality TV's villain of the moment, Drew Abruzzese, The Restaurant's "intern from hell." For those of you who aren't watching, young Drew immediately endeared himself to the staff of Rocco's 22nd Street by serving free booze (he's underage) to some tarted-up chicks from behind the bar and by calling Rocco DiSpirito, the show's star, "Captain Douchebag." Abruzzese is apparently trying to head all of this off at the pass before he becomes the new Omarosa.

If you're planning on watching TV on Wednesday, we hope you like Prince. MTV, MTV2, BET, VH1, and VH1 Classic will interrupt their normal schedules of pimping rides, following around semiretarded newlyweds with cameras, and endless talking-head commentary on pop culture ephemera to simultaneously broadcast a 30 minute Prince concert.

The LAT reports that Disney's (very quietly) moved its annual board retreat to its Burbank offices, skipping a trip to an Anaheim hotel to avoid a potential media feeding frenzy. The board's expected to discuss CEO-under-fire Michael Eisner's future running the company and his possible successors.

According to the Sun, Nicolas Cage is now engaged to a 19 year-old sushi waitress after a whirlwind, two-month courtship. The details are a little sketchy here: the Sun claims Nick picked her up in her restaurant, Sushi Avenue, which we've never heard of.

Obviously not content to let their sexually uninhibited daughter hog all the camera time, Kathy and Rick Hilton have signed on to do the The Good Life for NBC. On the show, Kathy will scour the country for 10 young women with "unrealized potential" (must. resist.) and set them up in a variety of career fields (resist.sex.tape.joke.) to see which one suits each of the girls best. At the end, the Hiltons will choose one of the girls, give her a year of free rent in the Waldorf-Astoria, and a job in her best career field. Then they will starve the girl until she's emaciated, drape her in skanky couture, and creepily insist on calling her Paris.

LA.com's spies have caught Lost in Translation darling Scarlett Johansson sucking a little ascendant starlet face with a decidedly unascendant Jared Leto. When was the last we heard from him? With those ridiculous white-boy dreads in Panic Room?

How do you squeeze every last bit of money out of a failed superhero movie? You subtract the Affleck and spin off the movie's real marketable star and make an entirely new superhero movie. Jennifer Garner will again play her assassin character in Elektra, though this time Affleck's Daredevil will be replaced by ER's Goran Visnjic as the love interest. Watch out, next thing we know, Goran's (go ahead, try and make us type "Visnjic" again) going to start dating crossover stars with big asses and pretending to write a movie with Matt Damon.

There's a new weapon in the war between broadcasters that say "fuck" and the We've-gotta-make-sure-no-one-ever-hears-the-word-fuck-or-Jesus-will-hate-us Industrial Complex. It's called The Bleepinator, and it uses voice-recognition technology to automatically filter out dirty words before they hit the airwaves—potentially saving media companies millions in fines.

Variety's Peter Bart is all in a tizzy over the NYT's treatment of Mel Gibson and The Passion of the Christ, pointing out that the paper's dire predictions about Gibson's Hollywood blackballing haven't really panned out. And, oh yeah, the Jesus-beating flick is making a little money, too.

A company owned by former Miami Vice/Nash Bridges icon Don Johnson has filed for bankruptcy. Johnson's lawyers claim the filing is to protect the ranch property controlled by his company while they obtain financing to pay off creditors.

Disney's stock is down amidst rumors that Comcast is dropping their bid for the company. And rumors that the company's board is about to oust CEO/struggling imagineer Michael Eisner can't be helping, either.

Pity poor Kelsey Grammer, star of one of the longest-running, most lucrative sitcoms in television history. He of the "$15 white trousers bought during one of his monthly trips to CostCo." Hmmm. That's an interesting detail that the NYT's Michael Joseph Gross chose to share in his profile of Grammer.

With just six days left before the expiration of the Writers Guild of America contract with the Alliance of Motion Picture & Television Producers, the Screen Actor's Guild (SAG) has just increased its dues partly to prepare for a potential strike of their own in the Fall. This, as one hilarious Reuters stringer quips, is "bad news for many waiters in Los Angeles." We prefer to put our own patented, optimistic spin on it and think of it as a boon to restaurant management everywhere.

Randy Fowler, Kevin Spacey's brother, plans to shop a tell-all book exposing the actor's secrets to American publishers. Fowler, who toils as a session drummer and Rod Stewart impersonator, is unabashed about his intentions for writing the book.

Read the numbers and go about your day pretending as if anything else really matters.

This weekend, if you were a celebrity who'd split from a single egg in your mother's womb, you were probably talking to a lawyer. 7th Heaven star (and twin) Jeremy London was taken into custody and released on bail after rubbernecking motorists saw him arguing with his girlfriend on the 5 freeway. Brother Jason, meanwhile, can't get arrested.

We infiltrated this weekend's LAT Festival of Books at UCLA, partly out of curiosity. We all know that people in L.A. don't read books. Was "books" being used at a euphemism for scripts? As it turns out, there were actual books, and people who seemed to enjoy books. We're not sure how the LAT afforded to import tens of thousands of bibliophile tourists (we think airlift). Either that or they lured the locals with an open casting call for the next Survivor.

Think Disney CEO Michael Eisner's had a tough week? TheStreet.com's George Manne thinks most of the stars of the Character Breakfast are probably pretty pissed: