Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson announced some horribly sad news Monday night: BRUTUS, the French Bulldog puppy he adopted and subsequently rescued from drowning in his outdoor pool, has died. This news is not baller. It is, in fact, the saddest thing to befall The Rock in the recent history of his joyful, baller-ass life, which he always lives to the fullest.

Kristin Cavallari is currently pregnant with a baby girl due this fall. (Her book is due many months later.) Ever the planner, Kristin—who named her first two children Camden and Jaxon—has already picked out a name for baby number three.

While promoting his new film The Departed 2: Black Mass at a press conference on Friday, Johnny Depp, who is not well, joked (?) about his recent canine controversy: “I killed my dogs and ate them under direct orders from some kind of, I don’t know, sweaty, big-gutted man from Australia.”

Australia is really not kidding around—they’ve charged Amber Heard with the illegal importation of Johnny Depp’s dogs, meaning she could, technically, face up to 10 years in an Australian prison.

TMZ reports that Robin Thicke’s dog—named Bincy; bought for his 20-year-old girlfriend—has gone to the hospital twice now for accidentally ingesting weed. On her private Twitter account, girlfriend April Love Geary reportedly blamed the incidents on Thicke: “Some falls on the ground or she sits by him smoking and just inhales it hahaha.”

Given what you know (in your heart) about the gentle demeanor of Barbra Streisand’s beloved canine Samantha, the following information will shock you: Samantha viciously bit a flight attendant on Tuesday, sending her to the hospital for stitches. I know. [Charlotte voice] Samantha!

Charlize Theron—an actress known primarily for her SoulCycle feud with Tia Mowry—covers the most recent issue of W Magazine, in which she is interviewed about a variety of deeply personal topics: work, life, how she loves her dogs as much as her son, etc.

On Sunday, Miley Cyrus announced that she was sending her newest dog, Moonie, to live with another family. This happened less than two weeks after she got Moonie, who was adopted shortly after the mysterious death of her dog Floyd.