The Academy Awards have come and gone, and can you even remember them? I can—almost. Neil Patrick Harris had a briefcase, from what I can recall, and Birdman won (I think) all of the trophies. Also: It rained. Let's take a look back at the memorable moments, of which there were few.
The Hollywood Reporter is running a great series right now called "Brutally Honest Oscar Ballots" in which a real life Academy voter is granted anonymity in exchange for full candor in evaluating this year's nominations. The pieces are good if you would like to know what films might win awards this year, but even better if you would like multiple examples showing why Academy voters are fucking crazy.
The 20 stars nominated for Academy Awards this year represent some of the most talented (or, anyway, famous) actors on screen today. At one point, however, they were slack-jawed, blank-eyed, no-name novices. They’d probably like to forget their often humiliating early work, but thanks to the magic of technology, they can never escape it. From Ed Norton’s educational ESL VHS to Emma Stone’s completely mortifying renditions of pop songs on an American Idol knock-off show, so much of the early work of these nominees is jaw-droppingly bad.
A poet once wrote that only the good die young. Never has that statement rung truer across the Eastern seaboard than five days ago when the strip mall tanning salon owned and operated by Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino was shutdown by its landlord. Let us now remember the greatest business ever owned by a reality show celebrity in the history of Middletown Plaza.
Sam Taylor-Johnson's movie adaptation of E. L. James's novel Fifty Shades of Grey is an erotic thriller without the thrills. It's a hooker fantasy without any cash transaction. (At least Christian Grey could have the decency to pay Anastasia Steele for her trouble and degradation!) It's S&M without any real pain. It's sex without a single fluid swapped.
Inspired by Iggy Azalea's Twitter-led Papa John's screed, we asked you to share your own tales of celebrity terror. SO many of you had so much to say. We heard tales of stars long forgotten; of Rihanna ordering (and sending back) buttered noodles; of Harrison Ford flipping the bird. These are Gawker readers' best stories of their worst celebrity encounters. (Be sure to check the original post for the full treasure trove.)
A wise man once said: "Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." But what if we want to love one another with a blindfold, a leather flail, and an iPod playing choral music?
Most of America knows Tim Allen best as the genial, lovable sitcom dad from Home Improvement and his current red-state reassurance vehicle Last Man Standing. But if you were looking for coke in Kalamazoo, Michigan, in the mid-70s, you might have known Tim Allen as your drug dealer. Enough people knew him as such that in 1978 an undercover officer set up a sting operation that might have landed Allen in jail for life had he not snitched on nearly two dozen other dealers.
