The 20 stars nominated for Academy Awards this year represent some of the most talented (or, anyway, famous) actors on screen today. At one point, however, they were slack-jawed, blank-eyed, no-name novices. They’d probably like to forget their often humiliating early work, but thanks to the magic of technology, they can never escape it. From Ed Norton’s educational ESL VHS to Emma Stone’s completely mortifying renditions of pop songs on an American Idol knock-off show, so much of the early work of these nominees is jaw-droppingly bad.

Madonna gets banned from a movie theater for poor use of insults; Charlie Hunnam drops out of 50 Shades of Grey because no reason, definitely not cold feet or anything; Bill Murray won't be able to come to your parties for a few weeks—he's got a REAL job to do—and Edward Norton will be trying to save a show that should be taken out back and humanely shot between the eyes.