In October, when Gwyneth Paltrow threw a temper tantrum over a then-upcoming Vanity Fair profile, gossip was that the actress and aspirational-lifestyle sage was upset about rumors of marital infidelity. At the time, Page Six speculated that the actress was trying to hide a purported affair with Elle MacPherson's husband—the Miami billionaire Jeff Soffer.

So much for an "epic takedown." The March Hollywood issue of Vanity Fair has arrived, and while it was rumored to contain a glorious hit piece on Gwyneth Paltrow, it turns out the magazine only features a disappointing exploration of Paltrow's Hollywood "hate/love-fest" written by contributing editor Vanessa Grigoriadis.