Tuesday night's State of the Union address will get a big, bearded taste of the Confederacy. Louisiana Rep. Vance McAllister, R, has invited Willie Robertson, son of the anal-hating Phil Robertson, to be his plus one for the evening.

Duck Dynasty—a show about a man who hates anal—returned last night to A&E for a fifth season. Though more than 8.5 million viewers tuned in, the number is far from the 11.8 million viewers who watched the fourth season premiere in August. This means 8.5 million too many people are still watching, but it's a start.

A&E—a network that loves to admonish and play dumb after making gobs of money off well-known racists and homophobes—will be busy admonishing and playing dumb again today. All thanks to this newly emerged video of Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson delivering an impassioned speech against the "gross sexual immorality" of "women with women" and "men with men."