According to a sealed 2006 police report obtained by inTouch Weekly, Josh Duggar, the oldest son of TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting brood, confessed to allegedly molesting at least five underage girls when he was a teenager—including, TMZ reports, his sisters. And his parents, Jim Bob and Michelle, worked overtime to hide the scandal for several years. UPDATE: Josh Duggar has confirmed the reports.

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, the nation's most blessed breeders and stars of TLC's 19 Kids and Counting, want you to know it's important to make time for romance in your relationship. WWJD on Valentine's Day? Who cares! WWTDD? The Duggars would fuck. They would skip House of Cards, roll up Michelle's giant denim skirt, and they'd do it all night long in their giant Arkansas dormitory.