Gretchen Weiners interviewed Karen Smith for Regina George's latest Burn Book, and the result is just as cloying and unreadable as you might think. Rolling Stone shares an exclusive interview between BFFs/human centipedes Lena Dunham and Mindy Kaling, for Tavi Gevinson's Rookie Yearbook Two, a hard-copy offshoot of her teenage lifestyle website, Rookie.

September is upon us, and that can only mean one thing: You can stop pretending you know what people mean when they say "If Chip Kelly's offense stays healthy, Shady is going to be explosive this season!" and go back to talking about God's work—network television. To help you avoid embarrassing yourself at the office Keurig predicting the season's first cancellation—you need a better answer than Dads, it's not June anymore, c'mon—here are some of the best and juiciest rumors we've been hearing:

On hearing the news that Aziz Ansari will make more money on one book than most of us will see in a lifetime, most of us had the same reaction: a rush for a fresh razor blade while drawing a final warm bath. But wait! Don't strip the safety plastic off your Venus Pro-Glide yet. After talking to multiple book agents, it turns out there's actually a method this madness, and if you follow them in order, you too, could get three mil for your dumb book.