Ever wonder what Perez Hilton's up to these days? If not, that's definitely for the best—there are so many things out there to wonder about—but here is a glimpse: today he administered a prostate exam (or something!) live on Howard Stern's radio show. How the mighty (well, okay) fall.

Perez Hilton finally achieved his goal of being famous, in the most ironic and exploitative way possible; Netflix is giving you the best Valentine's Day gift ever; the terrifying nightmares of your youth are back to haunt you; and Cats is being turned into a movie, because, Hollywood.