What do you think fucking a pie can get you? A lasting career in the illustrious film industry? Not quite. The lifelong respect of your peers? I’ve got news for you, buckaroo. The eternal adoration of your family? *That thing where Larry David makes this face* Well, how does a pristine home at the foot of the Beverly Hills sound?

Bad news: British banjo players Mumford & Sons are riiiiiich. You probably knew this intuitively, but it’s nice—or the opposite of nice?—to be reminded of how much money some people have, compared to the rest of the people. Look at this fool’s apartment.

Some real estate listings are good, some are bad. Some tell the truth, some lie. Some don't have dicks in them, others do. None of them are perfect, except this one-photo listing for the L.A. compound Sheryl Crow just sold for $11 million.

Above you see a house in Los Angeles that Meryl Streep recently sold to Alex Rodriguez for $4.8 million. Here we are gazing out from the living room onto the patio. It's a beautiful home, no doubt. But—but!—what the hell is that pool?