Marvel announced today that 19-year-old boy actor Tom Holland will play Spider-Man, a role previously inhabited by men, as the name suggests, in 2017’s installment of the Spider-Man franchise. What is wrong with Hollywood?

Amy Pascal made some mistakes. Nobody is going to dispute that. But here’s at least one good decision she made: turning down some aging tech schmuck’s pitch to turn Spider-Man into an EDM-loving, Tough Mudder-participating, humblebragging shithead.

Bleeding heart beardo and Emma Stone-dater Andrew Garfield has taken some time to reflect on why the latest Spider-Man movie he starred in, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, sucked so bad. Here's his conclusion: he 100 percent had nothin' to do with it. In an interview with the Daily Beast, he explained:

If his career had gone a little differently, you'd know Josh Hartnett as more than the hot guy in Pearl Harbor. In fact, if he is to be believed, Hartnett could have been in every superhero franchise since the genre's rebirth.

The road to absolute power is paved with hypocrisy…and casualties. Praise Frank Underwood, the House of Cards season two trailer is here to tide us over until February; SNL will have a black woman on the cast by January; Spider-Man is getting spinoff movies; and Adam Sandler will be overacting the role he was born to play: himself.