Did you know John Mayer has a multi-million dollar watch collection? Mayer, the kind of guy who probably refers to having sex with a woman as “getting snatch,” spoke with the New York Times about—you guessed it—watches. As if this guy couldn’t be more of a parody of himself—sensitive yet manly; sensual but horny; Steve Stifler with a Stratocaster and a chorus pedal—he also knows a thing or two about how to wear an item of jewelry whose only function is to tell you the time of day: