Dispatches from the Hated will be a recurring feature penned by a person who worked the paparazzi beat for three years. We'll call him American Ex-Pap so they remain anonymous.

Archive: Paps make most of their money on old pictures being sold and then resold over and over to different outlets around the world. If you’ve taken exclusive photos in the past that are regularly rerun, the biggest earnings are from your archive.

Exclusive: If there’s only one pap shooting the celeb, they get the exclusive picture.

Follow: It’s like chasing a celeb in a car, but since chasing is illegal and wrong, we “follow” instead.

Gang Bang: When there are so many paps shooting a celeb, it’s chaos.

Giving It Up: A celeb gives it up when they smile or pose purposefully for a shot.

Home Depot Crew: A Mexican pap crew with limited English skills who are picked up each morning and dropped off on a corner in town to shoot whatever they can.

Jamba Juice: A crappy, worthless celebrity photo.

Jump / Jumping: When a pap jumps a shot, he is driving down a street, sees another pap in his car waiting for something or somebody, and he stops to take pictures without knowing who or what he’ll see. The better the pap, the more you get jumped.

Long Lens: Experienced paps use a long lens to shoot from a distance while still capturing a clear picture. Before shooting, paps will ask each other “are we going long or short?”

Malaka: Greek for schmuck / wanker. It’s an affectionate term used to greet other paps as well as a racial term used to describe Arab paps.

Short Lens: When paps are shooting right in the celeb’s face, they’re using a small / short lens.

Shotgun Allen aka Zazi: A famous pap named Shotgun or Zazi.

Tip Out: Trading a tip with another pap in order to get better shots. If a pap gives you a tip, you tip them out in return.

Previously: Bald Britney Spears Was Like The Dot-Com Boom Era For Paps