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Downsized Apprentice contest/document reproduction deal-closing wunderkind Nick Warnock has landed a gig selling luxury suites for the Oakland Raiders. Raiders CEO Amy Trask said about hiring the fourth-place finisher, "I called someone else in our office equally addicted to the show and told him, 'I want to hire this guy to sell suites...[W]hen we saw on his Web site that he had a football background (he played high school and college football), it seemed like a great idea."

You can hire people right off The Apprentice for jobs they've never done before? Then we want Trump's fiancée to do that thing where you pay two hundred dollars an hour to have a struggling actress come over and pretend to dust while topless.