Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, plastic sex dolls who fell in love against all odds, have been playing the long game with their new (but now kind of old) baby girl's name. The simultaneously press-shy and press-starving couple have kept America and the Baby Name Critic on the edge of their seats by refusing to reveal the name of their faceless young one.

Was the baby named Wallpaper? Maybe. Would Blake be so gauche as to give her daughter the same name (Violet) as a former alleged flame's child? Please, said her husband. Blake is a tastemaker. This baby's name will different... special... classic... just like the antebellum South that Blake loves so.

Well, the wait is over. We now have word from a trusted source (E!Online) that the Lively-Reynolds have named their baby girl James.

As you can imagine this name does not please the Baby Name Critic, who has a very clear stance on giving girl children boys' names: do not do it. For it is difficult enough to be a woman in this world without bearing the name of an oppressor.

Alas there is not a single member of the Lively-Reynolds clan with a clear female name, even though there are presumably two females in it. Just a group of guys. Blake, Ryan and little Jim. A perpetual beer o'clock.

Maybe they could have some fun with nicknames. Besides Jim, some good nicknames for James include Jay, Jimmy Jamz, J, Jamie, and Old War Horse.

This has been Baby Name Critic.

Update 3/20/15 11:00 a.m.

After months of unrest, Reynolds has now confirmed that the baby belonging to him and Blake Lively is indeed named James.

This has been a breaking news update from Baby Name Critic.

Leah Finnegan is Gawker's Baby Name Critic.

[Pic via Getty]