Come Hell or High Water Katy Perry Is Going to Buy This Goddamn Convent
Famous person Katy Perry once recorded a song called “Faith Won’t Fail,” a cursory google search for “Katy Perry+sin” tells me, which is ironic, I guess, because she’s currently embroiled in an escalating legal battle with a group of nuns who think she’s immoral.
To make a long lawsuit short, Perry’s trying to force the nuns to sell her their Los Angeles convent, located on a prime 8-acre parcel with “expansive views of downtown Los Angeles and the San Gabriel Mountains.”
The Archdiocese is already on board with Perry’s all-cash $14.5 million offer, but it seems the nuns won’t go gently into that good escrow—they say the sale is unfair, plus they don’t like Perry for “what should be obvious reasons.”
In the meantime, they’ve arranged an alternate sale to Dana Hollister, a developer offering no cash up front but slightly more money over time. Hollister and the nuns say the Archdiocese is taking advantage of their confused, morphine-addled minds, and now Hollister is facing the same accusations.
In documents filed Thursday with the Los Angeles County Superior Court, Ms. Perry said Dana Hollister, a developer who is also trying to buy the convent, “took advantage of vulnerable, elderly nuns, who she malevolently convinced to oppose the Roman Catholic Church” by rejecting Ms. Perry’s $14.5 million offer for the convent.
Essentially, a judge will have to decide who—if anyone—is taking advantage of the sweet old god ladies. Personally, I like to think they’re orchestrating the whole thing as some sort of geriatric Usual Suspects sequel and the last we’ll see of them is a discarded walker in the court parking lot as they escape with the cash from the sale. Who’s to say, really? A judge, I guess, but miracles happen.
