The 72nd Golden Globes were last night and, my god, I hope this is the first you're hearing about it. (If you were lucky you were watching the little-discussed and very NSFW HBO show girls.) The must-watch moments were as plentiful as they were true to their name, and we've gathered them all here for your easy perusal.

The red carpet portion of the night, our first red carpet of 2015, our first of so many red carpets to come, endless red carpets, red carpets flowing like blood out of an elevator at the Overlook Hotel, happened. It happened for sure! Jennifer Aniston was fine—not crazy and stressed out at all, thank you for asking.

The highlight of E!'s red carpet broadcast came when human-rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin was forced to wach Giuliana Rancic take a shot, doing so with the exact amount of enthusiasm you would hope and expect.

And the highlight of the red carpet in general came from Catherine Zeta-Jones, Ms. Dancer Emoji herself:

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, the evening's ostensible hosts, were present for basically only their wonderful, Cosby-skewering opener—and sadly made themselves scarce after, so you might as well watch the whole thing from beginning to end. And you can check out the crowd's reaction to the Cosby jokes here. (Jessica Chastain—who did not take our dress advice—was shocked!)

Like last year, the duo's best non-Cosby joke was at the expensive of Lifetime Achievement Award winner George Clooney.

[There was a video here]

Following their opener, most of Tina and Amy's appearances were bogged down by painful Margaret Cho Kim Jong-un bits, but at least one of those bits brought us this delightful Benedict Cumberbatct photobomb GIF.

Amazon took home two awards for Transparent, the first of which creator Jill Soloway dedicated to the memory of Leelah Alcorn. Other people took home awards, too, nearly none of whom you had chosen in your Golden Globes pool. It's crazy how bad you did in your Golden Globes pool this year!

[There was a video here]

The one brief moment of joy after Amy and Tina seemingly abandoned their post came from Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader, who gave the appropriate amount of silliness and contempt to their award presentation.

[There was a video here]

Prince was there and Allison Janney loved it.

George Clooney received a Lifetime Achievement Award and certainly seemed nice and handsome enough while doing so. He made sure all of the celebrities in the room—even those who were not chosen to receive trophies for their already highlighted and well-paid work in play pretend—knew that just the fact that they were in that room meant they'd grabbed the brass ring. Finally, some appreciation.

[There was a video here]

Perhaps the night's biggest surprise centered around Michael Keaton—not that he won for his role in Birdman, no no, you could've guessed that, but that his son is hot? And wrote two Jason Derulo songs? Who knew!

Here's your full list of winners:

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture: J.K. Simmons, Whiplash

Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries, or TV Movie: Joanne Froggatt,Downton Abbey

Best Miniseries or TV Movie: Fargo

Best Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie: Billy Bob Thorton, Fargo

Best Actress in a TV Series, Musical or Comedy: Gina Rodriguez, Jane the Virgin

Best TV Series, Comedy or Musical: Transparent

Best Original Score: Johann Johannsson, Theory of Everything

Best Original Song, Motion Picture: "Glory," John Legend & Common, Selma

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries, or TV Movie: Matt Bomer, The Normal Heart

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical: Amy Adams, Big Eyes

Best Animated Feature Film: How to Train Your Dragon 2

Best Supporting Actress, Motion Picture: Patricia Arquette, Boyhood

Best Screenplay: Alejandro González Iñárritu, Birdman

Best Actor in a TV Series, Comedy or Musical: Jeffrey Tambor, Transparent

Best Foreign Language Film: Leviathan (Russia)

Best Actress in a Miniseries or TV Movie: Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Honorable Woman

Best TV Series, Drama: The Affair

Best Actor in a TV Series, Drama: Kevin Spacey, House of Cards

Best Director: Richard Linklater, Boyhood

Best Actress in a TV Series, Drama: Ruth Wilson, The Affair

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical: Michael Keaton, Birdman

Best Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical: The Grand Budapest Hotel

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama: Julianne Moore, Still Alice

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama: Eddie Redmayne, The Theory of Everything

Best Motion Picture, Drama: Boyhood