Tom Hanks has never won a Tony. But now he has a friend named Tony—which, to be honest, is just as good!

Tom Hanks, that clumsy motherfucker, misplaced the credit card he uses to buy nice things, such as men's shaving kits and expensive candles and wine and organic dog food. But guess what? Tony found it. Who's Tony? He's the guy who found Tom Hanks' credit card and who now has a friend in Tom Hanks. Sounds like a win-win.

Tony! You make this city even greater, baby. But one wonders—how did he get it back to Tom Hanks? And did he spend a little bit of Tom Hanks' money before he returned it?

HANX: [reading his credit card statement in his clean brownstone] Aw, man, who charged four hundred dollars to the Home Depot? [pause] Tony!!!!

[Image via Getty]


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