Jake Gyllenhaal's $3 Million Pool Is the Crisp White Sneaker of Pools
Not every great pool must be a grand pool. Like a pair of Keds, sometimes satisfaction is attained through well-executed simplicity. Let us consider the above pool, which belonged to Jake Gyllenhaal for nearly a decade before being sold this week for just over $3 million. It is the crisp white sneaker of pools.
The first thing you notice about this pool is that it is small. For $3 million, one could certainly purchase a larger and more ostentatious pool, one with a hot tub or a water slide or rocks or fountains. I'd wager that many a guest at Jake Gyllenhaal's house—mostly models, probably, and also Taylor Swift—were taken to his pool where they secretly thought "Eh, really? This is his pool?" while telling Gyllenhaal to his face that it is a very nice pool that they really liked.
But I'm telling the truth: this is a very nice pool that I really like.
It is small and simple, yes, but it is small and simple as a work of minimalism. It has a very specific design aesthetic—with a bungalow perched at its steps, it has the feel of a private pool attached to the nicest suite of an expensive boutique hotel. It is shrouded in various types of leafy greens, affording it a certain privacy that most pools do not offer. If you wanted to fuck in this pool, you certainly could, and I bet Jake Gyllenhaal has. (Owning a pool that Jake Gyllenhaal once fucked in is what they call "value-added" real estate.)
The pool leads out to a backyard that offers what appears a gorgeous view of the Hills (L.A. talk). This just seems like a very nice place to sit.
Gyllenhaal is reportedly relocating to New York. I bet he will miss his pool.
Previously in Gawker Review of Pools:
Iggy Azalea and Nick Young's Distressingly Boring Pool
Would You Pay $85 Million For This Pool? Beyoncé and Jay Z Might.
Sheryl Crow's $11M Los Angeles Home Had the Perfect Real Estate Listing
Alex Rodriguez Is a Sucker Who Bought Meryl Streep's Tiny-Ass Pool