Have an opinion about Coachella* or don’t, I don’t care. But let’s all agree that one cool thing about Coachella is a very specific, fleeting bit of internet that I like to call “Celebrity mansion rentals in Palm Springs during Coachella,” in which famous people post photos to Instagram of whatever estates they’re staying in while at the festival. This year, no one’s mansion rental mattered more than Rihanna’s incredible pool.

Justin Bieber has a new pool and it's shaped like a horn? Or like an exclamation point as designed by Romero Britto? Or a pen as imagined by the set designer on Prometheus? Anyway, this pool is costing Justin Bieber basically your entire year's salary (if you're lucky) per month, and not to pile on the kid here, but damn is this pool wack.

Not every great pool must be a grand pool. Like a pair of Keds, sometimes satisfaction is attained through well-executed simplicity. Let us consider the above pool, which belonged to Jake Gyllenhaal for nearly a decade before being sold this week for just over $3 million. It is the crisp white sneaker of pools.

Here is this week's Gawker Review of Pools prompt: do the residents make the pool, or does the pool make the residents?

Beyoncé and Jay Z are collectively worth something like $1 billion. Maybe. Beyoncé said it herself so it must be true. The point is that they can basically buy anything in the world. Nonetheless, spending $85 million on a single pool is a serious purchase for even the richest elevator fight club. Beyoncé and Jay Z might do such a thing, but here's the real question: would you?

Some real estate listings are good, some are bad. Some tell the truth, some lie. Some don't have dicks in them, others do. None of them are perfect, except this one-photo listing for the L.A. compound Sheryl Crow just sold for $11 million.

Above you see a house in Los Angeles that Meryl Streep recently sold to Alex Rodriguez for $4.8 million. Here we are gazing out from the living room onto the patio. It's a beautiful home, no doubt. But—but!—what the hell is that pool?