Katy Perry's Boobs Fend Off Tigers, And Other Things I've Learned

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Beejoli Shah

09/05/13 05:00PM

Filed to: Boobs

Katy Perry continues to find new ways to wear very little clothing in the just released video of her women's empowerment anthem "Roar" today, and it is very, very bad. The track just knocked off not women's empowerment anthem "Blurred Lines" as Billboard's No. 1 single.

Things I have learned from the first music video I've watched since "Peaches & Cream" stopped topping the TRL countdown:

- Platinum blonde Chris Brown and his American dance crew haven't beat the Koreans in 15 years

- Oh wait that was just an ad for Battle of the Year

- Katy Perry is a very bad actress

- Katy Perry's boyfriend's first thought after a plane crash is to take selfies (don't worry, he dies quickly)

- Katy Perry spends exactly 0:00 seconds mourning his death

- Katy Perry is more concerned with brushing the teeth of crocodiles than she is her own survival in the wilderness

- Katy Perry's boobs stared an attacking tiger down and prevented her from being mauled to death

No amount of pomegranate lip stain and banana leaf skirts can save this video. Here's hoping the tiger comes back and eats her next.

The following replies are approved. To see additional replies that are pending approval, click Show Pending. Warning: These may contain graphic material.

5

Call me Risley Beejoli Shah 09/05/13 05:12PM

This song is a total rip off of Brave by Sara Bareilles.

Jmontilla2786 Call me Risley 09/05/13 05:15PM

That topic had been discussed one too many on this site and Sara actually doesn't care. ( but dont get confused...I think this song is complete horseshit)

Gogogadgetanything Call me Risley 09/05/13 05:26PM

Granted but I think he did it better.

1

Smallweed Call me Risley 09/05/13 05:32PM

...and Brave is infinitely better, too.

1

Call me Risley Gogogadgetanything 09/05/13 06:48PM

Oh God, thank you. My night definitely needed some Baltimora.

5

John Boehner Beejoli Shah 09/05/13 05:04PM

God I want to be your roommate and do celebrity gossip with you. ;__;
I miss the days of when my roommate and I would literally be sitting 10 feet apart from each other and sending ONTD threads over AIM.

LOL omg that acting... It's not even cheeseball enough to be funny. Shit's just awkward.

11

Nefertitties John Boehner 09/05/13 05:23PM

I doubt God has time to be your roommate.

4

John Boehner Nefertitties 09/05/13 05:24PM

DUDE DON'T RUB IT IN

rmric0.wedding.photographer Nefertitties 09/05/13 06:05PM

God is omnipresent and omnipotent, he already is her roommate.

JohnMcClanesSmirk Beejoli Shah 09/05/13 05:16PM

You hear that? That's the sound of millions of 14 year olds masterbating all at once.

1

PopCulturePooka JohnMcClanesSmirk 09/05/13 07:04PM

And at least one 32 year old.

Wait... ummmm.

Captain_Crutch Beejoli Shah 09/05/13 06:40PM

Camp ain't just a place for for making s'mores, you know. It's a music video; try to have some fun with it.