OJ Simpson Wants to Play Himself on Anger Management

12.13K

Anonymous

07/22/13 03:02PM

Filed to: oj simpson

One of the big unwritten rules about getting away with murder is laying low afterwards. (Well, the first big rule is not doing it again. But after that, definitely laying low.) Laying low does not include writing a book about how you would hypothetically commit the crime we all know you committed. Or attempting armed robbery and kidnapping of your own sports memorabilia. And it DEFINITELY does not include appearing on television alongside equally mentally deranged friends.

The Post reports that O.J. Simpson has a hankering to appear on Charlie Sheen’s FX sitcom, Anger Management. According to his promoter/producer/BFF4LIFE, Norman Pardo:

O.J. would play a thinly veiled version of himself — a famous con who’s pissed off about being unjustly incarcerated.

Sources close to FX deny claims that any deal has been reached, given that the network has not signed off, and you know, the whole prison thing. Simpson is only five years into his current 33 year sentence, and has four more years before he's even eligible for parole.

The Juice is one of the only inmates at Lovelock Correctional Center to have a television. Prior to this, he mainly stuck to the occasional cell block Superbowl rager.

[Image via AP]

The following replies are approved. To see additional replies that are pending approval, click Show Pending. Warning: These may contain graphic material.

10

rudi_freude Anonymous 07/22/13 03:15PM

Sorry, OJ. No matter how good your acting was in court, you can never top this:

Snausages Anonymous 07/22/13 03:12PM

I think Carl Weathers should play OJ playing someone on Anger Management.

6

EkFree Anonymous 07/22/13 03:20PM

Aren't we delusional, egomaniacal assholes? And surprisingly I'm not only talking about OJ Simpson. Charlie Sheen and OJ together would break apart the asshole repelling property naturally inherent in their asshole breed; creating a collective asshole of such proportions that it could create a mother fucker polarity with their own delusional field of greatness.

3

BedandBreakfastMan EkFree 07/22/13 03:47PM

Hmmm, interesting theory. So you propose that were Simpson and Sheen to occupy the same space, their tremendous asshole gravitational pull would force all of us to watch, thus creating a fucktard black hole that no light or media outlet can escape until we are all crushed under the weight of the events incredible density?

I find this fascinating. Do you need a co-author for this paper?

Niles_Urdu EkFree 07/22/13 03:54PM

I think what you are getting at is that the two of them together would create a sort of asshole singularity, one from which not even light could escape. That would be bad, very bad.

2

EkFree BedandBreakfastMan 07/22/13 03:57PM

Yes! I was running out of theoretical physics-like words for that comment. Perhaps we can postulate how an asshole can be taping a show and serving a prison sentence simultaneously.

orchidhunter EkFree 07/22/13 04:01PM

an ocean of difference between OJ and Charlie Sheen on levels of "asshole"...putting them on the same level is disrespectful to the innocent people he stabbed to death.

4

BookManFilm Anonymous 07/22/13 03:08PM

O.J.Simpson. The gift that keeps on giving, unless you were his wife, who he murdered and got away with it. Oh yeah and unless you were his wife's friend who he also murdered and got away with it.

Why wouldn't you cast him in a comedy - he's hilarious.

For fucks sake.

Sheeeeeeit-ClayDavis BookManFilm 07/22/13 03:25PM

He is actually really funny in the Naked Gun series.

orchidhunter BookManFilm 07/22/13 04:03PM

Thanks i just expressed a similar disgust for the tone of both this story and some reactions. For shame, people. For shame.