Ariana Grande, mumbly little peanut on the left, god knows what on the right, has had her tiny share of bad press lately. She's already been accused of wielding a diva-like attitude towards photographers and interviewers, and she's just been accused of wanting all of her fans to fucking die. Classic diva.

The New York Daily News alleges Ariana—suspected serial killer—let the death threat slip in an elevator after a visit to a Manhattan radio station this summer:

"She did autographs and pics and was all smiles until she got into the elevator," a stunned industry insider tells us. "And as soon as the doors shut she said, 'I hope they all f—king die.' "

If you, an Ariana Grande fan, find yourself feeling faint; find mysterious abrasions on your body; begin to cough up what looks like, huh, a ponytail?; etc., please quickly and carefully perform the following uncursing ritual. I urge you not to take this cursing lightly, or the method used to remove it—it could save your life.

  1. Lie down in a large rectangle marked in each corner by a piece of Tourmalinated Quartz.
  2. Place a photo of Ariana Grande, taken from her right side, on your chest and place a fifth piece of Tourmalinated Quartz on top of it.
  3. Sing Ariana Grande's "The Way" in your best interpretation of a "demon voice" while making figure eight motions with your hands above your body.
  4. Remove the photo, stand, light a black candle, and burn a dimple into Ariana's (right) cheek.
  5. Bury the photo eight feet beneath the earth while, again, singing "The Way" in your best interpretation of a "demon voice."
  6. Mark the spot with the largest rock within reach, to which you've fastened a ponytail.

That should do it! Good luck!

[image via Getty]