As the donut-licking trial of Ariana Grande entered its 67th day, the embattled former pop star finally took the stand in Good Morning America’s Times Square courtroom Tuesday morning to address allegations that she hates Americans. (The allegations are based on the time she said, “I hate Americans.”) But, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do you just go around wishing a good morning to people you hate? The defense rests.

Ariana Grande, toony tiny pop singer who could basically wear a cupcake wrapper as a long skirt, was recently caught on video licking donuts that she had not purchased. Sadly, despite her flouting of American donut law and basic hygiene, she will not face criminal mischief charges, TMZ reports. That means Ariana Grande’s sandpapery forked demon-tongue could be all over your donuts right now.

Thursday night, cat-baby Ariana Grande more comprehensively expressed remorse over her alleged donut-licking and America-hating, following up yesterday’s apology with a four-minute video titled “sorry babes.”

On Tuesday, TMZ published security footage that appeared to show human-kitten hybrid Ariana Grande licking donuts that weren’t hers and saying “I hate America.”

Ariana Grande, a mewling kitten wearing sexy bloomers, claimed in 2013 that she was attacked by demons from hell. This weekend, however, she revealed herself to be the true demon from hell by sneakily licking donuts at a donut shop and then not buying them. Also: she “hates America.” Also: she’s dating a backup dancer.

Ariana Grande and Big Sean, one of the most disturbing couples on Earth, have mercifully ended their relationship after eight months, reps for both artists confirmed to Us Weekly.

Like a modern-day Helen of Troy wearing a diaper, tiny singer Ariana Grande started a war last night.

What do we know about the relationship between teeny-tiny teacup pop star Ariana Grande and her boyfriend, the obnoxious-yet-appealing rapper Big Sean? We know that they like to hold hands. We know that they like to snowboard. It's all very cute. But what brought them together in the first place? The answer to that question was a mystery—until now.

In Ariana Grande's sexy Christmas fuck jam "Santa Tell Me," tiny Ms. Peanut sings about how she, as Caity put it, "straight-up wants to fuck Santa." The singer is now starting to backpedal on her overwhelming Christmas desire, however, beginning with a new interview in the Daily Star.

If it wasn't clear from when they went to a kid's amusement park last week and kissed each other on the mouths, singer Ariana Grande confirmed in a recent interview that she is really dating rapper Big Sean, who is now officially tasked with protecting her from any further ghost/demon experiences.

Jessie J, a pop singer whose livelihood depends on the success of her recent collaboration with known diva Ariana Grande, told US Weekly last night that Ariana Grande is not a diva. "Not at all," she said. Nooope, definitely not a diva, please don't kill me, Suspected Serial Killer Ariana Grande.

Big Sean and Lil' Ariana Grande confirmed their PG romance this week by making out on a roller coaster—the Revenge of the Mummy on Halloween Horror Night at Universal Studios Hollywood, to be exact. Spooky! Good thing they had each other if they got scared.

Ariana Grande, mumbly little peanut on the left, god knows what on the right, has had her tiny share of bad press lately. She's already been accused of wielding a diva-like attitude towards photographers and interviewers, and she's just been accused of wanting all of her fans to fucking die. Classic diva.