If Showtime had their way, Brody wouldn't exist and he definitely wouldn't exist past the first season; The Princess Diaries V. 5 has hit some major roadblocks; WikiLeaks is mad at Hollywood.
Famke Janssen is being haunted by the scariest ghost of all: herself; Aaron Paul finds new ways to yell 'Bitch'; Jeff Bridges breaks his silence and comes out with the greatest truth of all—that R.I.P.D. was maybe, kind of, sort of not the best?
Generation Y is the reason Jack Nicholson can't have nice things. The Dads creators defend racism because upsetting entire ethnic groups is super LOLs y'all! And Spike Lee keeps raking in grants even though he has begged us all for millions.
Mark Wahlberg could have been your classmate if you were a graduating senior this year; Jimmy Kimmel is a C.R.E.A.M. loyalist—except that for Kimbo, Costco Rules Everything Around Him; and Julie Chen, despite her best efforts to be a white girl, still just looks Chinese.
Katy Perry has incurred the wrath of her former supporters at PETA; SNL Weekend Update will be hosted by the girl hawking Moey Chambam; and Aaron Paul is having more fun than everyone else ever.
Nicole Kidman got knocked down but she got up again cuz you ain't never gonna keep her down; The CW was already (no sarcasm here) stretching the bounds of enjoyable and emotional programming (looking at you Hart of Dixie!) and now is fantastically tackling being a transgender teen; Jew thinks making fun of Jew things is okay because he's a Jew.
Disney offers up an alternative to the tedious task of watching movies; WME's head honcho has kicked off a health fad in LA to those who are still trying to recover from Pressed Juicery fatigue; and ohmygodohmygodohmygod more Harry Potter magic is coming back to theaters!
Poor fans of Nirvana (okay, so just Courtney Love), today is your lucky day; bitches be fightin' over at Universal; and Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon have reached the point of oversaturation.
Demi Lovato is poised to write the next Great American Novel, 140 characters at a time; John Grisham's oeuvre is taking its act from just Hudson News bookstores in airports across America to The Great White Way; and as always, nobody thinks more highly of Mike Fleming Jr. at Deadline than, well, Mike Fleming Jr.
It's Monday and everything is awful. More people are trying to use Finn Hudson's death for good PR, shitty agencies are getting fired by shitty clients who haven't been relevant in years, Miley is just ughhhhh can't, but luckily Bruno Mars will save us all come January.
Mr. Hall and Miss Geist may have never gotten together if Cher had ended up on My So-Called Life instead of Clueless; Stefon is too embarrassed to watch himself shamelessly hit on Seth Meyers; Clint and Dina continue to make it weird.
Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne have crappy neighbors; you can now go back to watching The Big Bang Theory but pretend you're only excited for football; and thank God, because the Labor Day box office was so crappy, One Direction almost took the top spot.
