On Sunday, I woke up promptly at 1:27 p.m. and decided to go to brunch in my neighborhood (Williamsburg, Brooklyn). Can you guess who was there? The actor Robert Pattinson.

There are three things Man knows to be true about the world:

CAA agents are known not only for being some of the most industrious ten-percenters in town, but also the most loving and nurturing bosses around. Just kidding! CAA agents are known for being insufferable douchebags, generally with an inflated sense of self and lacking in cursory knowledge of basic computer functions.