In the case of Justin Bieber’s dick, the verdict is now in.

On Tuesday, Lenny Kravitz tweeted his first public response to last night’s unintentional cock-out rock-out in the form of a text message from Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler—that message being, basically, “Hey, you got a thing in your dick!”

In the gossip item he was born (or at least named) to write, Page Six’s Richard Johnson reports that Michael Douglas has a big dick. Roll the footage:

One day it will all be over for Terrence Howard. Life, yes, but more importantly the extremely embarrassing legal battle he’s been waging with his ex-wife Michelle Ghent. Recently, according to TMZ, Howard filed legal documents stating that Ghent attempted to blackmail him by threatening to release photos of his small d:

The Academy Awards that go to movies you haven't seen are usually a little forgettable, but check this out: two British dudes just won for short film, and one of them pretended his statuette was his willie.

Theory: Neil Patrick Harris stuffed his underwear for his Birdman bit at the Oscars.

The only thing worse than doing something shitty is giving an obnoxious fake apology for your behavior when you're called out. Case in point, our dear friend Diplo.

What happens when your ideas of male coolness are unquestioned from 9th grade into your late 30s, and you're rewarded with great fame and wealth no matter how obnoxiously you behave? You become Diplo, the music industry's preeminent DJ and foremost prickwad.

A single question now plagues the minds of all Americans, weighing down our brains as we slump in our office chairs, then slump in our cars, then slump in our couches, and then slump into bed: how big is Justin Bieber's penis really?