Human jelly beans and BFFS Teenz and Ames will be hosting the Golden Globes again, hurrah!; Kelso is the richest man on your 62"; Michael Fassbender and little Michael Fassbender will not be campaigning for an Oscar this year; Aaron Paul has turned Bitch! into a song.

Are you reading this while you're at work? You might want to put that letter opener back in your coffee-stained pencil cup before you read on.

Forbes released their list of Hollywood’s Highest-Paid Actors today and it’s even more proof that your life is not going as planned. Using some magical equation that involves talking to agents, producers, and “other people-in-the-know,” the wizards at Forbes are able to estimate the annual earnings of the industry’s biggest stars.