Have you ever noticed how many movie characters work in film / video stores / go to movies / talk about Hollywood? Some people say this happens because Hollywood is one big old circle jerk and that everyone who makes movies loves movies. While that’s probably true, there’s also the possibility that people in movies are just like us and maybe it's just really hot outside. But masturbatory or not, movies sure do spend a lot of time on movies.

Dan Harmon talks to The Hollywood Reporter in the latest issue and one thing is certain: he’s still a total dick. Fired in May 2012 as the showrunner for Community, Harmon went on a Tumblr rampage against NBC, seemingly burning every possible bridge in town. But he’s now been asked back for the fifth (and most likely final) season of the show, thanks to Harmon’s inexplicably large online fan base as well as star Joel McHale.

Forbes released their list of Hollywood’s Highest-Paid Actors today and it’s even more proof that your life is not going as planned. Using some magical equation that involves talking to agents, producers, and “other people-in-the-know,” the wizards at Forbes are able to estimate the annual earnings of the industry’s biggest stars.

Because there’s absolutely nothing left in the universe to say about Breaking Bad, everyone is instead talking about how Bryan Cranston got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today. He joins the company of such Hollywood superstars as Tom Cruise, Lucille Ball, Ronald Reagan, and Lassie.

It’s been a pretty shitty summer. We’ve lost our privacy, our faith in the justice system, James Gandolfini, and our dignity. And now, it is with great sadness that I announce the latest Summer 2013 loss: the young Hollywood action star. May God rest his soul.

It’s really hard to get someone in Hollywood to read your film script. Unless, of course, you have a famous name. Just ask Jeremy Lin, not the basketball player but a 16 year-old from Hong Kong, whose script Senior Project is now being made into a feature-length film.

Places you’re allowed to snoop: wallets, purses, drawers, “accidentally opened” emails on iPhones, bank statements casually left on the table. Places you should avoid snooping at all costs? Kim Kardashian’s electronic medical records at a major hospital, especially if that major hospital is your employer.

Quentin Tarantino, the chode of all chodes, is no stranger to plagiarism allegations. Good thing because his girlfriend, almost-award winning writer Lianne “Spiderbaby” MacDougall, is going to need a lot of help recovering from her own cheating scandal—over the weekend, she admitted plagiarizing from a host of different sources in her column for a horror fansite.