It’s not a particularly “fresh” “joke” to point out the similarities between Justin Bieber’s appearance and that of Ellen DeGeneres, but if it’s the truth, what else can you do. Lie? Do you want us to tell you a lie? We are not liars. Justin Bieber got a haircut, and he looks more like Ellen Degeneres than ever.
On December 24th, 2014, Jared Leto posted to Instagram an older photo of himself with a short haircut. He captioned this photo "Haircut. #2015." Since that moment, we have waited impatiently, grinding our teeth, digging into the earth endlessly simply to release our tension, refusing food due to its dearth of the sustenance we need, the sustenance that comes only with Jared Leto's haircut, while we waited for the actor to make good on his promise.
Take a deep breath. Take another. Lie down on the ground. Close your eyes. Picture the world falling down around you. Imagine your body covered in debris. Do you feel its weight? You are immobile and your breath is shallow. This is the end. This is the end. This is the end. Zayn got a haircut.
