Hilary Duff—27; loving it; known to “act ghetto” —announced during a radio appearance this week that she had joined Tinder in the wake of her divorce. “My profile says, ‘Let’s get pizza!’” she explained.

A gray-haired Lizzie McGuire and her estranged best friend Miranda Sanchez reunited for the first time in many, many years two nights ago at a bowling alley. Lizzie’s younger brother Matt tagged along—doy—even though he is now a gentleman with a hairline that’s not what it used to be.

Hiya, I'm Hilary Duff! You might know me from the Disney show Lizzie McGuire, which I love(d), or my new blue hairdo, which I love (will keep loving). It's fun, like I'm fun, you know, or at least, I'm having a lot of fun right now. I recently told Time about all the ways I'm having fun, which include acting "ghetto."

Two dying brands debuted their heavily managed and obsessively detailed latest projects on Cosmopolitan.com today: Cosmopolitan magazine rolled out its newest issue, featuring Hilary Duff on the cover; and Hilary Duff, in the pages of Cosmopolitan, rolled out her divorce.

What follows is not actually by Hilary Duff, except in the sense that I am pouring my heart out and what is appearing on the page is the savage essence of Hilary Duff.

This is what dreams are made of: Hilary Duff is officially down to reprise her best (only) role as everyone's favorite middle school sensation Lizzie McGuire. Duff told the Huffington Post, "My schedule is a little busy right now. But um…why not?" Haha yeah she's super busy but you know, why not.