Justin Theroux: He’s Jennifer Aniston’s husband. In this capacity, he’s sometimes moved to compliment Jen on her various positive attributes. What compliment does he say the most?
Jennifer Aniston’s life is one big celebrity sexy party, and you know what: it’s fine. This weekend, Jen and her new husband Justin Theroux (actor) went on a “star-studded double date” in Austin, Texas, with Sandra Bullock and her new boyfriend, a “gorgeous” model/photographer named Bryan Randall. Damn.
Jennifer Aniston’s wedding ring.
Did Jennifer Aniston’s fake wedding dress make a fool of you this weekend? You have my sympathies. No one likes to be made a fool, and the weekend is supposed to be your time.
Jennifer Aniston—who is still engaged, yes, but not pregnant, no (thank you for asking; it’s fine)—has a lot of friends. Friends who get Oscar nominations; friends who are her hairstylists; friends who proposed to her over two years ago but don’t seem to want to set a date; friends who were on Friends; friends who are so much younger than her it’s insane. One of those friends recently spoke to a radio station about her relationship with Jen.
As Jennifer Aniston knows both personally and professionally, sometimes things don't go your way. It's not anyone's fault, and you know, even if it was someone else's fault, you can't control other people, so what's the point of getting all upset? Not everything has to be so perfect all the time. Anyway, TMZ reports that a drunk driver plowed into Jennifer Aniston's carefully-manicured front lawn this weekend and wrecked it.
Host Neil Patrick Harris welcomed Selma star David Oyelowo and Cake star Jennifer Aniston to the stage this evening with these words: "It's my pleasure to welcome two people who absolutely deserve to be here tonight: Jennifer Aniston and David Oyelowo!"
You might think that after suffering an Oscar snub, Jennifer Aniston would not be fine, but that would be very presumptuous of you, because as she states multiple times in a new interview with The Hollywood Reporter, she's fine. She just wanted to murder William H. Macy one time, on the set of her non-Oscar nominated film Cake and she didn't, so it's fine.
The Hollywood Reporter confirms our scoop that Jennifer Aniston is, indeed, fine. The new issue promises a close look at all of the things Jen is O.K. with, including but not limited to: "her struggles with anger, her dyslexia, that Oscar snub," and her dead dog tattoo. "I know I have a bigger purpose," Jen says. She's fine.
Before you ask—and not that you were going to (Why would you, because she's O.K.)—Jennifer Aniston is O.K. SHE'S FINE. I don't see what the big deal is, and Jen definitely doesn't see what the big deal is, not because she sometimes "fails to see things," but because she's good and fine. And if you should happen to read one or several interviews in which Jennifer Aniston sounds not O.K., maybe you need to take a moment and interview yourself about why you're always acting like people aren't O.K. and judging them, when they're telling you they're fine, and they're fine.
Just because someone else got married doesn't mean it's not Jennifer Aniston's day, too, you know.
Jennifer Aniston—sad, old witch who has only her fame, beauty, talent, and money to keep warm the section of her finger where a wedding ring would go—and Justin Theroux have been engaged for nearly two years. Two years! Does that mean they have—deep breath—cold feet?
A kiss from Melissa Joan Hart could really ruin your career; Rachel gets The Rachel, even though she really used to hate The Rachel; Harvey Weinstein is already scheming for 2016 to back the president with the most pull at the Mars Chocolate Company; and CBS is still so mad at Dan Rather.
