If you were Khloe Kardashian, through some kind of arcane Freaky Friday-ass blessing/curse, your first order of business would be to fly to Chipotle on a private jet with your crafty, beardy new boyfriend. Yes it would. Don’t you lie to me.

In a conversation on Sunday night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, eldest sister Kourtney brought up her stepfather Bruce Jenner’s announcement that he is transgender and planning to transition. A totally normal topic, given that she ostensibly just learned about this in last week’s episode—except the conversation broadcast on Sunday was actually filmed last November, while Jenner’s announcement to his stepdaughters was filmed two months later, in January.

In an interview on Power 105.1's "The Breakfast Club" taped yesterday and aired this morning, Kanye West revealed that he had to take "30 showers" after dating Amber Rose to get with his current wife, Kim Kardashian. He also suggested that 25-year-old rapper Tyga is dating his 17-year-old sister-in-law Kylie Jenner. Oh, Kanye!

What do you do when tabloids report for months on end that you are dating 17-year-old Kardashian sister Kylie Jenner, and you have been photographed multiple times hanging out one-on-one in Europe and the continental U.S. with 17-year-old Kylie Jenner, and then your ex-wife's friend Amber Rose goes on the radio to say yes, you are dating 17-year-old Kylie Jenner?

Khloe Kardashian and Amber Rose are currently embroiled in a debate for the ages—who's more of a whore: the woman who started stripping at age 15 or the entire Kardashian family.

Here is a photo I can't stop thinking about: Khloe Kardashian and her boyfriend French Montana on the set of the video for his new song "Don't Panic" wearing diabolical opera masks and holding what appear to be some sort of (fake) machine guns (disclaimer: I know nothing about guns).

Over the weekend, the Kardashian family celebrated North West's first birthday with a kid-themed Coachella called "Kidchella." Khloé wore a Native American war bonnet for the occasion—no doy—and immediately—no doy—received negative feedback. Today, Cliff Matias, cultural director of the Redhawk Native American Arts Council, spoke about the images.