Matt Damon, former Boston nobody how do you like them apples, has largely shed his Northeastern demeanor for something of a regular guy kind of vibe; it is a look that he wears well. But newsflash, hombre: on Thursday in Beijing, Damon debuted his highly anticipated phase three: Relaxy Dad.

The superhero everyone loves to completely ignore is definitely going to be in the upcoming Justice League movie, and he may be played by Matt Damon. Yes, we may have to sit through Jason Bourne chatting telepathically with dolphins.

If you've ever fantasized of thruppling it up with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, now's your chance make dreams a reality. All you have to do is make a $10 donation, and you'll be entered to win a double date with two of Boston's finest exports.

As the late night world said goodbye to Jay Leno Thursday night, Jimmy Kimmel ignored the fuss and did what Jimmy Kimmel does best: get celebrities, especially Matt Damon, to make fun of themselves.

Matt Damon's logic for why Ben Affleck will be a great Batman? "He's not playing King Lear! This is Batman. Certainly within his skill set." Nothing like a backhanded compliment from your bestie.

Hollywood rumors are as outrageous as they are complicated. Let’s get real: how on earth could you coax a gerbil into a butthole? And how could Jamie Lee Curtis hide her tiny penis from wardrobe all these years? Not to mention Paul from The Wonder Years. How could he be sucking his own dick and playing in a band when he’s clearly working right here? Speaking of dick sucking, if it’s impossible to drink a gallon of milk, how could someone ever drink a gallon of semen?