Prince George of Cambridge, future King of Australia and beyond, cried like a little bitch Sunday at a party for God and his sister thrown by his tired parents.

On Saturday, William and Kate Mountbatten-Windsor, unemployed British tourists, welcomed a new ward of the British state. They named her Charlotte Elizabeth Diana. Charlie Lizzy Didi. Cha Liz Di. Chalizdi. Princess Chalizdi. That’s nice.