On Saturday, William and Kate Mountbatten-Windsor, unemployed British tourists, welcomed a new ward of the British state. They named her Charlotte Elizabeth Diana. Charlie Lizzy Didi. Cha Liz Di. Chalizdi. Princess Chalizdi. That’s nice.

Let’s talk about the name Charlotte. It was the top name guess of bookies across England, so my supposition is that Kate has a gambling problem and named her baby to pay off debts. Charlotte honors grandpa Charles, the future king of England and organic foodie. Charles means “little man.” Hmm. Good name for a girl. Elizabeth is for Queen Great-Grandmama, obviously. And Diana... well. Yes. To me, Diana is the most beautiful name in the world, for a girl or a boy. A suitable name for this baby would have been Diana Diana Diana.

If this were my princess baby, I might have had some more fun: Diana Princess Queen. Princess Diana Princess. Princess Princess Diana. Princess Leah Jr., AKA Diana. Maybe next time.

This has been the Baby Name Critic.

Leah Finnegan is Gawker’s Baby Name Critic.

Contact the Baby Name Critic at leah@gawker.com.

Photo via AP