The 20 stars nominated for Academy Awards this year represent some of the most talented (or, anyway, famous) actors on screen today. At one point, however, they were slack-jawed, blank-eyed, no-name novices. They’d probably like to forget their often humiliating early work, but thanks to the magic of technology, they can never escape it. From Ed Norton’s educational ESL VHS to Emma Stone’s completely mortifying renditions of pop songs on an American Idol knock-off show, so much of the early work of these nominees is jaw-droppingly bad.

Jennifer Aniston, who was not nominated for an Oscar for Cake but is fine, rang in 46 by renting out the two-lane bowling alley in the Roosevelt Hotel. Shockingly, US Weekly reports, one A-lister who was invited to the soiree was notably absent.

Here is a haunting image of the sugar-intensive breakfast Reese Witherspoon made for her son Tennessee, featured in an otherwise innocuous People slideshow of celebrities and the food they say they eat.

Jennifer Aniston did not receive an Oscar nomination for Best Actress yesterday, but her friends Reese Witherspoon and Julianne Moore did. That's fine. Reese's and Julianne's nominations do not take away from the hard work that Jen did on her film Cake—really. Jen is fine.

Contrary to popular belief, CBS does not greenlight shows solely on the basis of flatulence; anti-bullying initiatives find a new medium for their message; asshole extraordinaire director rises to the top despite being an asshole; and Disney decides to tackle the truly dark stuff: angry princesses.