On Scandal, a presidential election has been rigged, a woman has gnawed a tracking device out of her arm, and the Republican president's gay chief of staff is engaged to a prostitute. All inherently more believable than the moppet hair glued onto Lena Dunham's scalp for her upcoming guest role.

Here's some news that might make you want to chew the skin and flesh right off your wrists: ABC has reduced Scandal's episode order this season from 22 episodes to 18, TheWrap reports.

Looks like Oliva Pope is the new zombies, because CBS is developing a new drama from CSI showrunner Carol Mendelsohn, and crisis manager Judy Smith, who served as the basis for Scandal's baddest bitch in charge.

Getting Bill Murray to do your movie only costs a tiny bit more than getting him to come to your kegger; There's a happy ending for Eliza Coupe (sorry, sorry); Sean Hayes is the last person to realize having a show on NBC actually is worse than having no show at all; The Scandal recaps are coming from within the building.

The fall is upon us: the leaves are turning brown, the children are turning smarter, and if you listen very, very closely you can hear the collective snap of a thousand child-proof caps of Xanax bottles being popped open by anxious TV executives all along Ventura Boulevard. So what's going to die? What's going to survive? What's going to thrive? Let's take a look.